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Broccoli: Le Awesome
11 September 2011 @ 08:20 pm

survey on female sexuality! 
Broccoli: Le Awesome
07 September 2011 @ 07:31 pm
Hey guys
im making a documentary. I want your opinions and feelings on female masterbation.
ive set up a survey
Broccoli: Le Awesome
25 March 2011 @ 11:45 am

this is just a ramblings.


mein flickr

this week has been very overwhelming. I get run down very easily. And I require more  than three alarms to wake up apparently. I remember that once, when I was about 6 the house next door burnt down. Fire engines and sirens and crashes, I slept through the whole thing. It was right outside my window. This is now becoming an issue. 


Besides the hobos next to be in the library being loud and stinky, im am irritated to the point of staring at them rudely till they stop. im pretty sure they can see what im writing. It is a silent area you gassy fucktards,
















So this week I still need to take photos of more shit for stupid fucking depth of feild. I need to take more photos for shutter speed and movement. The fat fucker who takes photography can get fucked. He never explains anything. 


I have written one blog and one review. On a film which I fell asleep watching four times. It took me all week, but I finnaly watched the Gun Slinger. I wrote that it was good. But truthfully it was boring boring boring. I have not the patience to sit and watch films anymore. Not when I know I need to do other things. 


Between cleaning the house, working three times a week, voulunteering at ACMI till all hours of the morning, homework, boyfriend and cooking   I barely have time to sleep. Let alone play with my cat, call my Dad, get to the bank. Organise projects. 


But I guess Ill just have to


At ACMI this week two older (they said around 40) gay men told me they didnt think that bisexuality was a valid sexuality. lol, fuck, gay people are as bad as anyone. Lupe Fiasco says it best   "some are still in doubt of its existence
some call it forgiveness and some call it the vengeance
some say it's an exit and some say it's an entrance
the poor say the rich have the cure
the rich say the poor are the source
revolutionaries say it's physiological war
invented by the press, just to have something to report
some say the first case came from a maternity ward
some say a morgue, some say the skies, some say the floors
whores say the nuns, nuns say the whores" 


everyone hates everyone. 


I heard a lesbian saying she would like straights to fuck off from gay clubs and get their own. 

this is where the political correctness police come in and tell me. no you can't say this stuff. cause you have to be gay to bitch about it. Like you have to be black to be the target of racism.


Its so 1990 to identify as gay or straight. Being gay is so straight, so normal. Oh wow, you sleep with just one gender, fuck you. 

For those of us who dont use our sexuality to define ourselves, our gender to complain about, our socio-economic status to blame our lack of education on we are just trapped listening to everyone else bitch about their parallel other. Seriously, I saw a man and an woman get asked to stop kissing at a gay bar. That is insane. A-sexuals  and transgender, bisexual, pan-sexual, dentrafeliacs, objectaphiles, necropheliacs, this is all queer you fucking retarded assholes. Way to judge. 


live and let live- I hate you all with as much passion as you hate me


Im concerned about the ending of my short film. Perhaps it will help to write out the script again


So we have a girl, laying staring up at the ceiling. She is stressed and unable to concentrate on the sex her partner is giving her. She tries to have a fantasy, but her desire is overrun by her subconscious anxiety about household chores. Her fantasy turns into a nightmare, and as he finishes she lays their  unable to. As reality seeps back in, she is left unsatisfied.


Possible issues. 

Maddie as an actress. getting a birds eye view. 

getting shan to act, the outside might be rainy, its only 90 seconds. I want to put glitter all in the backyard to make it look more weird and dreamy ahhhhh and the stinky hobo is coughing on me
I AM AT: : library
Listening to: : the presets
Broccoli: Le Awesome
13 November 2010 @ 07:47 pm
 Well this is lame. 
Cherry-Coloured funk, all I had on my iPod while traveling around for a month while I was away from him and still very much in love with him still makes me sad. 

Summer time. I finished my undergraduate degree. Sorry Livejournal, I will write in you more. Ill be active starting next week! 
Broccoli: Le Awesome
30 December 2009 @ 10:19 am
 I'm only vehemently against the things I really like. 
Listening to: : Gag-a
Broccoli: Le Awesome
30 November 2009 @ 09:26 pm

Im in Vietnam again. In a little town called Hue, Livin' it up with cable TV. Yeah, pretty much every trip I take is just going overseas is just so I can try doing all the things I do at home overseas.

So far I have been in Saigon, or Ho Chi Mihn. good shopping, maddie likes to shop more than I do. But I saw Doc Martin shoes for about half Australian price in colours and styles I have not seen before.

I still find the language impossible and the people a little annoying. But I guess when In vietnam, do as the vietnamese do and squat on the side walk and eat purple rice for some reason.

Im looking forward to going to cambodia, although im sick of eating safe vegan food. Rice and Veggies all the time is making me all tired. I could sleep for about 1 squillion years.

Im not yet homesick, but I feel it coming. Gah, im so moody and sleepy and hungry all the time. I think im making it sound like im having a bad time. Im not, we sort of walked into a drug den the other night. And I got to go to the Saigon war museum where there are a shit load of relics, not to mention a baby with two heads in a jar as a reminder of the devistation of war.. and mutants.

Some pictos of what i've snapped on my phone. (a pleasent surprise is the wide availablity of wifi)
Why so much gum?

we found in a ass smelling supermarket

Maddie and I on the balcony of hotel 1. Blue wig is blue

Some evil, sad baby on the airport bus

Tomorrow we are furthering our travels.
Broccoli: Le Awesome
05 November 2009 @ 01:06 pm

Film theory is stupid. It can’t just be two male friends, it has to be an Oedipus relationship, it cant just be a building skyline, it has to be a bunch of dicks. Its never just a woman, its either one representing castration somehow or the mother and she is never just talking, she is always spurting lines about more dicks, no matter how much it sounds like a conversation about baking, or trees or a table. Since desire only comes from repression, we can understand from this that all film theorists are secretly into dick jokes and can't get laid because they are constantly trying to find the hidden meaning in life’s rich tapestry. BULLSHIT!

Broccoli: Le Awesome
21 October 2009 @ 02:48 pm
I’m having such a hard time finishing this oral presentation. I am. I got a bad mark yesterday and felt really awful. I usually get good marks, well not even super good, that would be lying, I want to be honest. I think I average probably 70-75 h2b for marks. But I got 54, a P. The comments were personal and really nasty I felt. I have had constructive criticism, but this was just mean. Any way, now im having a hard time getting myself motivated to write out this essay for a talk tomorrow. Its on Lost Highway, the David Lynch film. I guess my lack of motivation stems from not really wanting to do a subject about film noir, and being forced to because there were so few undergraduate choices at Melbourne University. So I have grumbled my way through a twelve week term to arrive now at week eleven having not really prepared to do a talk like this. I guess I will just wing it, in a sense. I mean, I have this article to prepare from. Its called ‘Finding ourselves on a lost highway’ David Lynch’s lesson in Lost highway. Blah its lame already. Sometimes I sit in lectures for this subject and get really angry that there are enough people in the world to support the academic pursuit of film noirs. Or even film, or that im involved in it at all. My whole wish to go to university was to get a good education I felt that I missed going to a bad public school. And yet even though im at a really good school, taking subjects that any romanticist would love I still have to seek and prove myself to others. Not the Other, because my Id and super ego are fucking fine, just others. I feel as if no matter what I do, that the arts are not good enough and everyone looks down on them from a scientific standpoint. Well fuck, sorry that im better at writing than I am at science. Which is not true really, I got excellent marks in math and science, but because I pursue a career in English based work Im discredited for another ‘you can only do arts’ type person. Not that half of my science based friends would last a month at my school. I supposed the thing to do is not care what people think. But I feel this is not entirely possible. No matter how far removed and above you may feel yourself to be its rather hard to entirely disassociate your own worth from the relative standing of others. Particularly your peers.

So the question is, how does fantasy function in the film lost highway take note of Mcgowns argument.
Mc Gown argues that fantasy functions in as few ways. We shall break it into three
Fantasy can find a solution to the desire of the other
Getting too close to the fantasy object makes it disappear, thats why when Renee says you’ll never have me
It offers an escape from desire which provides unbearable mystery.
Fantasy ultimately provides the reading for film which suggests a phantasmic occurrence best makes sense of it.
But I rather think perhaps its less about making sense of it and more about the fact that it creates these dialogues from people.
Haha dialogues, university is making me annoying.

Anyway. Bleh. Its getting done slowly. I took the day off to work on it. Go me! 

I need to do a post of white pride.
I AM AT: : Home
Listening to: : Silence
Broccoli: Le Awesome
13 August 2009 @ 04:44 pm
I'm going back to the valley for my dads fiftieth birthday weekend. I'm on the train right now. Sometimes I hate leaving the city, eddie perfect is playing martin martinis last show tomorrow and I'm going to miss it.. But in place of that I got eddy current suppression ring tickets today for jorja and I. Which means I shall precede to get drunk next thursday and smash around like a crazy woman. I need some bruises, I'm too unhurt and clean at the moment :D

So I still have not written a post about new subjects I'm taking. This semester I'm trying to make up my history/ cinema/ cultural studies double major. As per usual its hard not to become disillusioned with my reason for doing this courses, I must remember although I'm not a humanist lolz I'm doing it for primarily funsies, and secondly for kickass general knowledge and prestige of a toilet paper b.a from melbourne pooniversity (u c what I did thar?)

war history is pretty straight forward simply world war two history covering everything from strategical to political shenanigans. my friend from first year is in my tutorial which is good beans. Fucking bean tank beep beep.

Tv and popular culture is fun. I have a cunt of mature age student in my tute though. Bitch thinks he is a god of critical theories, Pft, he claims to have experienced every thing first hand, 'Omg I'm so old I am a primary source' Wanker. This week we watched sylvania waters, a disgusting 'realistic' fly on the wall doco of early nineties australian family life. Only it was entirely manipulated by producers so its more of a melodrama. Oh and my old highschool chum is in this class, we has a good giggle about funnies during lectures. IE robot from original lost in space 'mirror mirror on the wall, who is the ugliest robot of them all.. I am' haha he has emotions yet computes with computations.

youth arts is my breadth, like cabaret last semester its a mecca wank, but much more fun. Each week is a different art space, like galleries, laneways, theaters and we go on about how youth culture (sub?) utilizes and constructs itself in the space. The project work is awesome, an enthnographic contrast between two art spaces and to create youth art. Lolz, I Omg I r yuff, I can has my pwn artz!?

Film noir.. Ugh I wrote this out before but once again, subjects like this compensate for their lack of academic credibility by using convoluted language to disguise the fact that every theory it uses is a huge wank. I hate this class, its shit and makes me want to explode people. 'oh hay there I'm film noir, I'd like to advance the idea that using critical film theory digessis lacanian in nature I can create the construct of overtly over the top use of academic terms I stole from other fields and applied them to my crappy ass is exactly how I came to exist. And I suck salty coin'

So that's schoolery at the moment. Its fun as hard work can be. Jorja and I picked up rmit booklets the other day looking into media courses. I hope me, jo and her can all do what we really like, the thought of more of my friends doing tertiary education makes me happy!

I had a lovely snuggle with wayne last night. Ive never known anyone (any male?) like wayne before and now I know he reads this stupid journal I guess Ill never be sure of how real/ right it is what I'm saying. But yeah, he is a lil muffin who worries too much!

I re read a bunch of entries from little more than a year ago. I think I want to make a graph of my emotional stability and typical female-ness. Its a giant mountain of bullshitery rising up from my once stable emotional repertoire. Lol, I bet a mum would say, you just became a woman. Pft, I want my pre last year self back with what I've learned.

I was actually considering looking at the glass as half full, but its never half full. I always get much to thirsty.

So radiohead just releasing singles and eps from now on.. Bummer. But blink 182 is looking likely for big day out. I like that 'Josie' song. She so smart and independent, I don't think she needs me. When I meet people they generally say, oh Josie is your name, that's like Josie and the pussycats- or that's like the blink song. I get along with the blink people better.

I'm going to india for christmas Fuck yeah. Stinky country here I come!

I got to download
Clan of xymox
Tim minchin
Taylor swift
Faith no more
Frenzal rhomb
Ohh and how cool is the new stuff by muse. Maddie got me listening to them again. Ill totally see them live when they come.

Oh shiii. I think im happy today haha. I rule. Jo lets go photographing, I want to do city scapes/ industrial stuff. Maybe we can go to collingwood slums photography galley too!

Oh yeah. I passed the campaign thing I've been trying to do on age of empires three.

Does anyone else think that if lady gaga is a chick with a dick she is more sexy than just a chick with a man face? Too much internets has given me strange fetishes. Where do I go to get my own man woman??

Okie dokie I don't think the town I'm in even has 3G internet.. I might have to wait to post this little ditty. Thanks for reading.
Broccoli: Le Awesome
04 August 2009 @ 06:41 pm
Im so silly. I forgot the purgatory powers of writing everything out in this fickle little journal of mine. I should have been doing this through this whole CATASTROPHY. Oh and by the way, im terrible with the old exaggerations, a consistent theme is that I make a big deal, sometimes I have reason. Sometimes I do not.

CUT FOR YOUCollapse )

Ahh fuck it I don’t know. Make me happy, come love me!


its pretty cool. dl its free for now. Its much better than stupid vista. 

Oh yeah, no more 'omg new muse sounds like queen!11' Uhhu, one song does. But the single that was released today does not. 

raar. homework time. 


Feelin':: calmcalm
Listening to: : Muse